This Crewneck Sweatshirt is for people who fight pseudoscience (but will still die on petty hills):
✔ "Congratulations, You’ve Ruined Hydration" – Bold embroidery declaring war on pedants ✔ Ethically Cozy – Made with US cotton + low-impact dyes (unlike water’s impact on your trust) ✔ Built for Debates – Knit in one piece (like water’s conspiracy to seem "wet")
Why Wear It? ☕ For coffee runs where you side-eye every "water is life" poster 🎁 As a gift for friends who correct grammar at parties (they’ll hate-love it) 🧪 To confuse children learning basic science
Care Like a Contrarian: 🧼 Machine wash cold (like your take on this "fact") 🌀 Tumble dry low (like scientists’ patience) 🚫 Do not iron (wrinkles prove you have better things to do)
For people who read footnote 37 in research papers for fun.
