This Unisex Heavy Cotton Tee celebrates history's most metal chicken - because Mike didn't need a head to become legend. For those who appreciate:
✔ Useless animal facts that make you question reality
✔ 1940s farmcore aesthetic (eyedropper-feeding chic)
✔ Proving horror villains could never (18 months headless = GOAT status)
Why This Tee Rules:
💀 "Brainstem Still Chill" - Bold print tells Mike's bizarre story
♻ Ethically Sourced Cotton - Unlike Mike, this tee has all its parts intact
👕 Seamless Comfort - Shoulder tape strong enough to survive decapitation (theoretically)
Perfect For:
Poultry enthusiasts with dark senses of humor
History buffs who know the 40s were unhinged
Gift-giving when "normal presents" are too mainstream
Care Instructions (Unlike Mike, Your Tee Needs These):
🧼 Machine wash cold (Mike didn't get that luxury)
🌀 Tumble dry low (head optional)
🚫 Do not iron (wrinkles add character, just like surviving decapitation)
For people who root for the underbird and dress accordingly.
Note: Does not grant headless survival skills. Eyedropper not included.
